Yeah, I definitely agree that there's similar thoughts in other marginalized groups. It's especially visible in feminism, because women are caught socially between being told that if they trust men, they deserve to be victimized; but if they're not nice enough to strange men, they're being cold, mean, jaded, etc. and there's just this expectation that a marginalized person should be able to know, just by looking at someone else, whether or not they're a threat.

And I can understand...feeling a bit dismayed, to realize people suddenly see you as a threat, when you're not the kind of person who would do that to someone; after all, I am FtM, and suddenly I am a threat to a lot of women. But understanding it myself makes it easy for me to confront and deal with; and as you say, allies have to remember it's about those they want to help. So even when it does make me feel uncomfortable, sometimes, to realize I'm being seen as potentially dangerous - that's nowhere near as uncomfortable as the woman who's being cautious of me probably feels - and it's my responsibility to put her at ease, whatever that might mean in that situation; nobody owes me their trust.

And there's no problem with going off-point, tangents can be illuminating :P