BEASTLY.

[potato_head]

LJ seems to be having some issues again. Blearghrgrhg.

I baked the chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips! But dad has hidden his computer, so I can't get the photos off his camera until tomorrow. I wasn't planning on posting until then, but there was an awesome post by Asher of Tranarchism that I felt like passing on because I identify strongly with it. It's about being femme/nelly (I'll admit I haven't had much any exposure to the term 'nelly' so I'm not sure if it has any meaning beyond a femme guy) and a trans guy:

Self Explanatory: When Your Gender Isn't

A good quote from the end:

You see, we do not just desperately want to be men, any men. We are individuals. We have specific visions, specific desires, specific genders, and a specific situation.

I'm comfortable with my style as it is now - kind of butch, in a young and geeky and sloppy kind of way, to balance out the fact that I don't really pass. But I'm also looking forward to when I'll feel comfortable wearing makeup if I want to, knowing that people will see a guy in makeup.

ETA: AHFJDKSDAJKFDS CAN I BE DONE EDITING THIS NOW PLEASE? I am clearly too late to be posting. THAT SENTENCE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE but I think you all know what I meant oh my god GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.

Comments

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Oh I love Tranarchism sfm! And I really needed this right now as I just came out to my girlfriend and it went...not well? Not super badly either, but bleh bleh bleh.

[poto-heart.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 I loooove Tranarchism. I actually went to check hoping there would be a post and there was and it was basically exactly what my day needed after the cookies. And then instead of being sensible and going to bed I went and read sf_drama instead, which was basically the worst decision, bleghhh.

Anyways I know what that's like <33 you know I'm here if you want to talk about it bb.

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

ugh yes sfd...sometimes so not helpful in the "faith in humanity" department. but <33. I think I'm past needing to talk urgently though I expect this to continue to suck for awhile unfortunately. But ah well. It /could/ be worse.

[poto-heart.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get that. About things sucking for the forseeable future.

Although don't forget - just because things could be worse, doesn't mean you don't have a right to wish they were better.

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's an important thing to remember, especially for me, when I've got my mother constantly telling me how lucky I am to have electricity and food to eat and be allowed to live in her house :x /flips tables

[poto-heart.livejournal.com]

Yeahhh my mom does the same to me. D:

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Not, I should point out, that I DO identify as nelly, and I am definitely not trying to appropriate that! But I definitely will not ever be...what would be considered "properly" masculine. Too much cooking and domesticism and nurturing pets and wearing sparkly jewelry in my piercings XD And I have a feeling that's gonna get me some crap.

[poto-heart.livejournal.com]

I am still not really sure where nelly lies in relation to femme, lol. Or how to properly define my gender expression, the closest I can come is 'super domestic fag'. But I am notorious for always discovering the proper words for myself incredibly late.

Like, I only discovered the word 'pantheism' yesterday. Like months after writing a huge post trying to explain my spiritual beliefs, most of which could have been summed up by that one word.

Or when my friend finally told me what gay and bi(sexual) meant. In high school. Sophomore year, I think.

Her: Gay means you're a guy who likes guys, or a girl who likes girls. If you're bi then you like both.
Me: Oh, that one. I'm bi.

We were walking in a crowded hallway 8D;; And I didn't discover the even better word 'pansexual' until a few years ago.

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

Yeah I had never heard the word "nelly" until today >.> "super domestic fag" sounds pretty great to me! Maybe I'll figure out a word for me one of these days too.