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Nov. 14th, 2012 09:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
potato_headUgh, I feel like a zombie right now.
I didn't manage to get to sleep until 7AM this morning...still got up at 1PM for my class, but not because I set my alarm. I just woke myself up, and was feeling a bit of anxiety as I did so, I think I was having bad dreams.
Now I've tried a few times to take some naps to make up for that...I'm having terrible dreams.
I keep dreaming that I'm a woman (not me-as-a-woman, but a specific, other woman). I say woman, but she's more like a girl in high school? Maybe just out of it. She/I have a boyfriend, and I'm pregnant. He's also involved in...fighting evil, supernatural forces, I guess; and in the first dream (I've had two consecutive dreams about it, with me having woken up in between) we're eating at a fast food restaurant when the girl behind the counter, someone we know, becomes possessed, or something along those lines.
Several other...demon fighters are also in the restaurant, and after she does something that knocks the tables everywhere, they start preparing to fight back. I go to find somewhere to hide, and end up behind a table...right by the employee entrance/exit, even though I know that's a terrible idea. Somebody else notices me there and yells at me that it's a bad idea and she could come out that door any moment, but I don't know anywhere else to go; as I start getting up to follow them, she does, in fact, come out the door, and spots me as well, and just walks around the overturned table (lol, great planning, dream-girl/me) and leans down to touch my baby bump...laughing while she does so and asking if I can feel her touching the baby. And I know what she means, I can feel her...evil, touching the baby. It was an incredibly gross and invasive feeling.
My boyfriend ran over then and chased her away from me, and created...some sort of force field that she couldn't come through. She went back through the employee door...then came back out and walked right up to the force field and stuck her hand through it to grab my arm.
Around that point I woke up (after struggling a bit with sleep paralysis). Woke myself all the way up, then saw I had only slept like an hour so decided to try again.
This time I was in my dorm room - or similar, the layout wasn't exactly the same - and I thought I was safe, but then I got up to go to the bathroom and heard things - sirens, someone in the hallway yelling for me to get out; dream-boyfriend, I think. I got the feeling I wouldn't be able to make it out without her spotting me, so I went back into my room and laid down on the bed, at which point the dream became another episode of sleep paralysis, but I was still half-dreaming...I was convinced the possessed girl could find me by feeling my connection to my baby, so I tried to sever that emotional connection and focus on thoughts of my actual, real-life mother instead, to disguise it with a different idea of motherhood that was negative. And I kept obsessing over whether I had locked the door to my room or not, but since I was paralyzed, I couldn't get up to check.
TBH, I know what these dreams are about and what I'm stressing over right now...I don't really feel like going into detail, sorry guiz. I just wanted to share because these were some of the grossest nightmares I've ever had...the feeling of her touching me and knowing she was threatening 'my' baby and I couldn't do anything about it...I've shaken it off a bit but it was just fucking gross and terrible.
I didn't manage to get to sleep until 7AM this morning...still got up at 1PM for my class, but not because I set my alarm. I just woke myself up, and was feeling a bit of anxiety as I did so, I think I was having bad dreams.
Now I've tried a few times to take some naps to make up for that...I'm having terrible dreams.
I keep dreaming that I'm a woman (not me-as-a-woman, but a specific, other woman). I say woman, but she's more like a girl in high school? Maybe just out of it. She/I have a boyfriend, and I'm pregnant. He's also involved in...fighting evil, supernatural forces, I guess; and in the first dream (I've had two consecutive dreams about it, with me having woken up in between) we're eating at a fast food restaurant when the girl behind the counter, someone we know, becomes possessed, or something along those lines.
Several other...demon fighters are also in the restaurant, and after she does something that knocks the tables everywhere, they start preparing to fight back. I go to find somewhere to hide, and end up behind a table...right by the employee entrance/exit, even though I know that's a terrible idea. Somebody else notices me there and yells at me that it's a bad idea and she could come out that door any moment, but I don't know anywhere else to go; as I start getting up to follow them, she does, in fact, come out the door, and spots me as well, and just walks around the overturned table (lol, great planning, dream-girl/me) and leans down to touch my baby bump...laughing while she does so and asking if I can feel her touching the baby. And I know what she means, I can feel her...evil, touching the baby. It was an incredibly gross and invasive feeling.
My boyfriend ran over then and chased her away from me, and created...some sort of force field that she couldn't come through. She went back through the employee door...then came back out and walked right up to the force field and stuck her hand through it to grab my arm.
Around that point I woke up (after struggling a bit with sleep paralysis). Woke myself all the way up, then saw I had only slept like an hour so decided to try again.
This time I was in my dorm room - or similar, the layout wasn't exactly the same - and I thought I was safe, but then I got up to go to the bathroom and heard things - sirens, someone in the hallway yelling for me to get out; dream-boyfriend, I think. I got the feeling I wouldn't be able to make it out without her spotting me, so I went back into my room and laid down on the bed, at which point the dream became another episode of sleep paralysis, but I was still half-dreaming...I was convinced the possessed girl could find me by feeling my connection to my baby, so I tried to sever that emotional connection and focus on thoughts of my actual, real-life mother instead, to disguise it with a different idea of motherhood that was negative. And I kept obsessing over whether I had locked the door to my room or not, but since I was paralyzed, I couldn't get up to check.
TBH, I know what these dreams are about and what I'm stressing over right now...I don't really feel like going into detail, sorry guiz. I just wanted to share because these were some of the grossest nightmares I've ever had...the feeling of her touching me and knowing she was threatening 'my' baby and I couldn't do anything about it...I've shaken it off a bit but it was just fucking gross and terrible.
