Slut Shaming & Safe Sex
Aug. 18th, 2011 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
potato_headI just wanted to talk briefly about something that I might, for once, actually be qualified to talk about, being just out of high school :P
Basically, whenever discussing the lack of good sex ed in the US, especially regarding safe sex, I hear a lot of people discussing the unfortunate people who conceive the very first time they have sex, and then seem very baffled about the fact that they got pregnant - "it was only my first time!" In fact, you're likely to see a reference to this on any web page or in any book that aims to dispel myths about sex, but from what I've seen, there's no actual understanding of where this comes from - everybody just thinks these particular people are so incredibly undereducated that they think you literally cannot get pregnant the first time you have sex.
Now, I'm sure there are some people, young and perhaps otherwise, that do think that. But in my experience, the vast majority do not. Their thinking is actually social-based, not medical-based. What they are thinking is this:
-Sluts get pregnant.
-I am not a slut (having only just lost my virginity, and presumably not had sex since if they can pinpoint that as the incident of conception).
-It is therefor unfair and surprising that I am pregnant, being so well-behaved.
To understand just why this particular train of thought is so wide-spread, it might help to remember that slut-shaming, as extreme as it is among adults, is even more so for high school aged kids. Not only is social reputation extremely important at that age, but many parents also put a lot of pressure on their kids to not embarrass them - and a high school pregnancy is still considered incredibly embarrassing by many people.
It might further help to keep in mind that a high school age person who was previously considered a 'good kid', and has just discovered they are pregnant, has probably just received their first lesson in how stereotypes work. Previously, they most likely assumed that everybody branded as a 'slut' behaved as one would stereotypically expect a slut to behave. Protesting that they only had sex once, and how could they be pregnant?! is part of processing the fact that they are in danger of receiving that same stigma, despite knowing that they don't fit that stereotype; and therefor potentially having to undergo a large and difficult paradigm shift.
Of course, this only lends weight to the idea (or rather fact) that a lot of the issues with sex ed in America stem from the slut-shaming aspect of our culture. I wasn't looking to make a longer post on slut-shaming or sex ed or anything today, so this is all you guys get C:
Basically, whenever discussing the lack of good sex ed in the US, especially regarding safe sex, I hear a lot of people discussing the unfortunate people who conceive the very first time they have sex, and then seem very baffled about the fact that they got pregnant - "it was only my first time!" In fact, you're likely to see a reference to this on any web page or in any book that aims to dispel myths about sex, but from what I've seen, there's no actual understanding of where this comes from - everybody just thinks these particular people are so incredibly undereducated that they think you literally cannot get pregnant the first time you have sex.
Now, I'm sure there are some people, young and perhaps otherwise, that do think that. But in my experience, the vast majority do not. Their thinking is actually social-based, not medical-based. What they are thinking is this:
-Sluts get pregnant.
-I am not a slut (having only just lost my virginity, and presumably not had sex since if they can pinpoint that as the incident of conception).
-It is therefor unfair and surprising that I am pregnant, being so well-behaved.
To understand just why this particular train of thought is so wide-spread, it might help to remember that slut-shaming, as extreme as it is among adults, is even more so for high school aged kids. Not only is social reputation extremely important at that age, but many parents also put a lot of pressure on their kids to not embarrass them - and a high school pregnancy is still considered incredibly embarrassing by many people.
It might further help to keep in mind that a high school age person who was previously considered a 'good kid', and has just discovered they are pregnant, has probably just received their first lesson in how stereotypes work. Previously, they most likely assumed that everybody branded as a 'slut' behaved as one would stereotypically expect a slut to behave. Protesting that they only had sex once, and how could they be pregnant?! is part of processing the fact that they are in danger of receiving that same stigma, despite knowing that they don't fit that stereotype; and therefor potentially having to undergo a large and difficult paradigm shift.
Of course, this only lends weight to the idea (or rather fact) that a lot of the issues with sex ed in America stem from the slut-shaming aspect of our culture. I wasn't looking to make a longer post on slut-shaming or sex ed or anything today, so this is all you guys get C:
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no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 03:56 pm (UTC)I have managed to fail at many cultural cues, and have pretty much missed the whole 'slut-shaming' thing.
Sex Ed was much better 15 years ago, and when I became sexually active, I knew I could get pregnant every time and insisted on condoms, every time. I've never had a pregnancy scare.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 04:48 pm (UTC)And the social atmosphere dictated that 'good kids' didn't plan for sex. Of course, it doesn't help that in our school, there was a very big 'good kid/bad kid' divide due to class issues. Every year, at least one 'good kid' was pregnant because neither they nor their partner carried any form of birth control because they didn't consider themselves sluts and therefor didn't want to carry a condom. Because if you were known to carry one, the implication was that you had sex often, not that you were mature enough to use protection.