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Apr. 20th, 2013 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
potato_headWhat did dakfire and I spend today doing?
Well, I spent some of it researching how one slaughters and prepares a chicken. But we also spent most of it discussing an AU in which hobbits are known for the landrace of enormous, intelligent dogs they keep (known variously as Shirehounds, Hobbitdogs, etc. to outsiders).
And how much more amusing it would be if the dwarves had found themselves escorted into the Shire by a group of very large, VERY SUSPICIOUS guard dogs.
ME: LOL
they probably wouldn't be very happy about ANY non-hobbits visiting
they would escort them everywhere
growling
dakfire: omg
thorin walking around the shire
ME: imagine thorin getting lost and wandering around
int he dark
yes
dakfire: with a great white dog following him
ME: with four or five hobbitdogs following him
keeping just out of range of his weapons
and growling
dakfire: he'll like be haveing ptsd up the wazo
ME: and bilbo just calmly greets them even though they're still growling
and all of the dwarves are MUCH MORE IMPRESSED WITH HIM
ME: i think with gandalf
most of the dogs would just kind of glare at him
but the alphas would watch him all the time
dakfire: yeees
oh, and Bilbo being on f the four familys would probably have a pack ment to protect the hobbits on his land
so theres no way he's leaving with out a shire dog
ME: he'd probably ride it
dakfire: he'll be like, "uh pony, no, not happening"
ME: lol yeah
he probably has one bonded especially to him
dakfire: yes!
he'l be like
ME: lol
dakfire: "no really gus, just wait like 5 minutes
dakfire: "she'll realise im gone"
dakfire: yeeeees
do you think the shiredogs would have flowers and stuff braided into thier fur?
ME: omg
probably lol
well
here's the thing about LGDs
they will bring down deer
or if they find a dead deer
will drag it back
dakfire: lol
ME: so i think they're also likely to have deer bones, antlers, etc. that they bring to their masters to be braided into them
dakfire: ....
yse
something like this will happedn the first few days of the quest
ME: LOL yes
dakfire: Bilbos dog will disapear
ME: the dwarves will be all complaining about having to hunt
and then
dakfire: DEER
ME: YES
and she
(becaus bilbo's dog is a she)
dakfire: always
ME: won't let anybody else near the deer
until he says it's okay because he really doesn't know how to butcher a deer
dakfire: except Bilbo
ME: yes
also she probably will take the head to eat herself
like just chew it straight off the body
while the dwarves stare on in horror
all
I THOUGHT HOBBITS WERE CUTE
dakfire: Bilbo will wake up to the dwarveshiding, and her chewing on the head
ME: WHERE DID THIS THING COM FROM
dakfire: and Bilbo just walks right up and bops her on the nose
and the dwarves are like
ME: lol
dakfire: "dont lad, its gone rabid"
ME: LOL
dakfire: "it early took of dwalins arm"
ME: and meanwhile she's all
rolling on her back
ont he deer
all LOOK MASTER
MASTER I GOT ONE
dakfire: in the blood
ME: yes
panting
and wagging her tail
dakfire: and Bilbos like
we dont have anymore room on the wall for your antlers
ME: and we can't put any more in your fur because you'll jangle
and she starts pouting
dakfire: IDEA
ME: and takes her deer head off to the side and crunches it meaningfully
dakfire: LOL
so after theyprove themselves (aka that thier loyal to thorin, so not gonna eat him... yet) while their at Borens the dwarves carve a wonderful harness thing out of antlers and bones
ME: yeesssss
based on their ancient tales of hobbits riding their dogs into battle
dakfire: oh and when Boren Picka up Bilbo she goes for his neck
ME: which today's hobbits are not so familiar with and have not fought on dogback in generations
dakfire: yes,even though most of the 4 familys can ride the dogs
ME: yeah
they're still taught hwo to ride them
dakfire: the idea of battling on them doestn even come up untill Bilbo and (enter flower name here, becase she totallt has a flower name) ride agenst Azog
ME: but it's more of a ceremonial thing
dakfire: and he gets unseated becase he doesnt have a proper harnes
ME: 'oh let's get a painting done of bilbo riding his pup for his coming of age'
dakfire: and she hurt becase she doesnt have neck armor
ME: fmdks yes
he just
tumbles
off
and she's all fmdskFMKSD???
and ends up having to guard him until he can get back up again lol
dakfire: yes, and kills
a lot
ME: yes
dakfire: and nearly gets hurt leathaly batteling the white warg
(you remember how that thing was growling at Bilbo, no way whats her name will stand for that)
ME: yeah
dakfire: so I thought of a way the end of 'and unexspected journey oculd work
wait first
I need a cool flower name
ME: for
the dog
because
i was thinking the same hting
dakfire: (c=becase the hobbits will of course name thier dogs flower names)
ME: and i think the favored plants to name them for would vary by region or maybe by family
dakfire: so the Tooks would probably name them for exsotic plants
Brandybucks for water plants
ME: wild herbs
dakfire: yes!
the baggins are all 'respectible'
ME: brandybucks for flowers
dakfire: maybe trees?
ME: ummmmm
mosses and trees?
dakfire: sounds good, but theres the 4th family that im forgetting
ME: yeah
they can do vegetables
this is my dog
potato
dakfire: lol
suuuure
ME: maybe they name them for wild animals
they're the odd ones out
so their dogs get names like swift fox and starling
dakfire: well maybe that shoul be the brandybucks
ME: maybe
dakfire: and the 4th family can have the flowers
ME: yes
dakfire: since thier 'so queer'
ME: lol yes
dakfire: across the river
ME: and bilbo's dog
has a took name
dakfire: becasue she is of took stock
ME: yes
dakfire: I like Nettle
like he just calls her nettle
sme times silver
ME: yes
dakfire: okay so story time
ME: she's named for white horse nettle but silver-leaf is also her name because it's another name for the same plant
dakfire: me likey
ME: and his mother's dog was named henbane
aka black henbane
so sometimes she was called blackey
dakfire: I like a lot
ME: 'It was historically used in combination with other plants, such as mandrake, deadly nightshade, and datura as an anaesthetic potion, as well as for its psychoactive properties in "magic brews."'
okay
proceed with your story
dakfire: so dureing the thunder battle nettle fallls (because 7 foot dog thats built would not be able to hold herself on those cliffs) and Bilbo comes out of the mountain later then he orriginally did; Nettle of course has gone OVER the mountain in the time it took them to go though it; she meets up with him, they have just enough time to hug (and Bilbo to be held down and slobered on) before they see the smoke and hear the howls/screams of the dwarves; so they dont even need to think about it, they rush off and attack the orcs BEFORE the tree falls, so its them agenst the whole pack for like 10 minutes
then the tree falls, Thorin trys to help (gets his metal covered ass handed to him) and the eagles come
ME: yeessss
and nettle gets carried in the eagles' claws and is not happy about it
and growls the whole way
dakfire: and the eagles are like
"this thing has lost half of its blood tonight"
"is it fucking possesed?!"
ME: yeesss
dakfire: becasue she is pretyt badly injured
and at the corac thorin will be like
"um sorry about douting you, and your beast, sorry your beast got hurt because-"
and Bilbos like
"holy fuck you still dont get it, shes not my beast shes my friend anfd family, and SE CHOSE TO PROTECT YOU because shes loyal to you"
and then all that stuff about how important home it and what not
ME: yess
dakfire: yes, but comparied to the book
he's fucking santa claus
SHIRE!DOG IDEA
so one of the dwarves (most certainaly thorin) when they first meet the 'greeting party' are really unerved by the three giant ass dogs just sitting there staring at him
so he picks up a stick and throws it
and nooooothing happens
the dogs look at the stick
ME: lol i was figuring one would catch it out of the air without moving
and the
n
dakfire: then back at him
ME: cruuuuunch
while staring at him
dakfire: yeeeeeees
then start to pant
[01:33] dakfire: oh
[01:33] dakfire: and Nettle has had a littler or two
[01:33] ME: once they come back, yes
[01:34] dakfire: awe
[01:34] dakfire: wy not alreaady 0.0
[01:34] ME: she was waiting
[01:34] ME: which all of the hobbits thought was very odd/figrued she just wouldn't throw pups
[01:34] ME: and told bilbo it was such a shame
[01:34] ME: but she was waiting
[01:34] ME: for an Adventure
[01:34] ME: that she Knew would happen
[01:34] dakfire: yeeeeeeeeeees
[01:34] ME: and then she would have to leave the pups behind
[01:34] dakfire: my heart
[01:34] dakfire: why
[01:34] dakfire: whywhywhywhywhy
[01:34] dakfire: tooooo invested!
dakfire and I spend today doing?Well, I spent some of it researching how one slaughters and prepares a chicken. But we also spent most of it discussing an AU in which hobbits are known for the landrace of enormous, intelligent dogs they keep (known variously as Shirehounds, Hobbitdogs, etc. to outsiders).
And how much more amusing it would be if the dwarves had found themselves escorted into the Shire by a group of very large, VERY SUSPICIOUS guard dogs.
ME: LOL
they probably wouldn't be very happy about ANY non-hobbits visiting
they would escort them everywhere
growling
dakfire: omg
thorin walking around the shire
ME: imagine thorin getting lost and wandering around
int he dark
yes
dakfire: with a great white dog following him
ME: with four or five hobbitdogs following him
keeping just out of range of his weapons
and growling
dakfire: he'll like be haveing ptsd up the wazo
ME: and bilbo just calmly greets them even though they're still growling
and all of the dwarves are MUCH MORE IMPRESSED WITH HIM
ME: i think with gandalf
most of the dogs would just kind of glare at him
but the alphas would watch him all the time
dakfire: yeees
oh, and Bilbo being on f the four familys would probably have a pack ment to protect the hobbits on his land
so theres no way he's leaving with out a shire dog
ME: he'd probably ride it
dakfire: he'll be like, "uh pony, no, not happening"
ME: lol yeah
he probably has one bonded especially to him
dakfire: yes!
he'l be like
ME: lol
dakfire: "no really gus, just wait like 5 minutes
dakfire: "she'll realise im gone"
dakfire: yeeeees
do you think the shiredogs would have flowers and stuff braided into thier fur?
ME: omg
probably lol
well
here's the thing about LGDs
they will bring down deer
or if they find a dead deer
will drag it back
dakfire: lol
ME: so i think they're also likely to have deer bones, antlers, etc. that they bring to their masters to be braided into them
dakfire: ....
yse
something like this will happedn the first few days of the quest
ME: LOL yes
dakfire: Bilbos dog will disapear
ME: the dwarves will be all complaining about having to hunt
and then
dakfire: DEER
ME: YES
and she
(becaus bilbo's dog is a she)
dakfire: always
ME: won't let anybody else near the deer
until he says it's okay because he really doesn't know how to butcher a deer
dakfire: except Bilbo
ME: yes
also she probably will take the head to eat herself
like just chew it straight off the body
while the dwarves stare on in horror
all
I THOUGHT HOBBITS WERE CUTE
dakfire: Bilbo will wake up to the dwarveshiding, and her chewing on the head
ME: WHERE DID THIS THING COM FROM
dakfire: and Bilbo just walks right up and bops her on the nose
and the dwarves are like
ME: lol
dakfire: "dont lad, its gone rabid"
ME: LOL
dakfire: "it early took of dwalins arm"
ME: and meanwhile she's all
rolling on her back
ont he deer
all LOOK MASTER
MASTER I GOT ONE
dakfire: in the blood
ME: yes
panting
and wagging her tail
dakfire: and Bilbos like
we dont have anymore room on the wall for your antlers
ME: and we can't put any more in your fur because you'll jangle
and she starts pouting
dakfire: IDEA
ME: and takes her deer head off to the side and crunches it meaningfully
dakfire: LOL
so after theyprove themselves (aka that thier loyal to thorin, so not gonna eat him... yet) while their at Borens the dwarves carve a wonderful harness thing out of antlers and bones
ME: yeesssss
based on their ancient tales of hobbits riding their dogs into battle
dakfire: oh and when Boren Picka up Bilbo she goes for his neck
ME: which today's hobbits are not so familiar with and have not fought on dogback in generations
dakfire: yes,even though most of the 4 familys can ride the dogs
ME: yeah
they're still taught hwo to ride them
dakfire: the idea of battling on them doestn even come up untill Bilbo and (enter flower name here, becase she totallt has a flower name) ride agenst Azog
ME: but it's more of a ceremonial thing
dakfire: and he gets unseated becase he doesnt have a proper harnes
ME: 'oh let's get a painting done of bilbo riding his pup for his coming of age'
dakfire: and she hurt becase she doesnt have neck armor
ME: fmdks yes
he just
tumbles
off
and she's all fmdskFMKSD???
and ends up having to guard him until he can get back up again lol
dakfire: yes, and kills
a lot
ME: yes
dakfire: and nearly gets hurt leathaly batteling the white warg
(you remember how that thing was growling at Bilbo, no way whats her name will stand for that)
ME: yeah
dakfire: so I thought of a way the end of 'and unexspected journey oculd work
wait first
I need a cool flower name
ME: for
the dog
because
i was thinking the same hting
dakfire: (c=becase the hobbits will of course name thier dogs flower names)
ME: and i think the favored plants to name them for would vary by region or maybe by family
dakfire: so the Tooks would probably name them for exsotic plants
Brandybucks for water plants
ME: wild herbs
dakfire: yes!
the baggins are all 'respectible'
ME: brandybucks for flowers
dakfire: maybe trees?
ME: ummmmm
mosses and trees?
dakfire: sounds good, but theres the 4th family that im forgetting
ME: yeah
they can do vegetables
this is my dog
potato
dakfire: lol
suuuure
ME: maybe they name them for wild animals
they're the odd ones out
so their dogs get names like swift fox and starling
dakfire: well maybe that shoul be the brandybucks
ME: maybe
dakfire: and the 4th family can have the flowers
ME: yes
dakfire: since thier 'so queer'
ME: lol yes
dakfire: across the river
ME: and bilbo's dog
has a took name
dakfire: becasue she is of took stock
ME: yes
dakfire: I like Nettle
like he just calls her nettle
sme times silver
ME: yes
dakfire: okay so story time
ME: she's named for white horse nettle but silver-leaf is also her name because it's another name for the same plant
dakfire: me likey
ME: and his mother's dog was named henbane
aka black henbane
so sometimes she was called blackey
dakfire: I like a lot
ME: 'It was historically used in combination with other plants, such as mandrake, deadly nightshade, and datura as an anaesthetic potion, as well as for its psychoactive properties in "magic brews."'
okay
proceed with your story
dakfire: so dureing the thunder battle nettle fallls (because 7 foot dog thats built would not be able to hold herself on those cliffs) and Bilbo comes out of the mountain later then he orriginally did; Nettle of course has gone OVER the mountain in the time it took them to go though it; she meets up with him, they have just enough time to hug (and Bilbo to be held down and slobered on) before they see the smoke and hear the howls/screams of the dwarves; so they dont even need to think about it, they rush off and attack the orcs BEFORE the tree falls, so its them agenst the whole pack for like 10 minutes
then the tree falls, Thorin trys to help (gets his metal covered ass handed to him) and the eagles come
ME: yeessss
and nettle gets carried in the eagles' claws and is not happy about it
and growls the whole way
dakfire: and the eagles are like
"this thing has lost half of its blood tonight"
"is it fucking possesed?!"
ME: yeesss
dakfire: becasue she is pretyt badly injured
and at the corac thorin will be like
"um sorry about douting you, and your beast, sorry your beast got hurt because-"
and Bilbos like
"holy fuck you still dont get it, shes not my beast shes my friend anfd family, and SE CHOSE TO PROTECT YOU because shes loyal to you"
and then all that stuff about how important home it and what not
ME: yess
dakfire: yes, but comparied to the book
he's fucking santa claus
SHIRE!DOG IDEA
so one of the dwarves (most certainaly thorin) when they first meet the 'greeting party' are really unerved by the three giant ass dogs just sitting there staring at him
so he picks up a stick and throws it
and nooooothing happens
the dogs look at the stick
ME: lol i was figuring one would catch it out of the air without moving
and the
n
dakfire: then back at him
ME: cruuuuunch
while staring at him
dakfire: yeeeeeees
then start to pant
[01:33] dakfire: oh
[01:33] dakfire: and Nettle has had a littler or two
[01:33] ME: once they come back, yes
[01:34] dakfire: awe
[01:34] dakfire: wy not alreaady 0.0
[01:34] ME: she was waiting
[01:34] ME: which all of the hobbits thought was very odd/figrued she just wouldn't throw pups
[01:34] ME: and told bilbo it was such a shame
[01:34] ME: but she was waiting
[01:34] ME: for an Adventure
[01:34] ME: that she Knew would happen
[01:34] dakfire: yeeeeeeeeeees
[01:34] ME: and then she would have to leave the pups behind
[01:34] dakfire: my heart
[01:34] dakfire: why
[01:34] dakfire: whywhywhywhywhy
[01:34] dakfire: tooooo invested!
