turtles

So I slept a lot today. Like, 9 hours into the afternoon, and then I woke up for awhile, and went back to sleep for another 4 hours. I'm not really sure why, I suspect somewhere last week in between stressing over finals and other shit (I'm still so stressed that just checking my school email is triggering my social anxiety), and a pretty terrible episode of caffeine withdrawal (my body is terrible about caffeine, I don't even want to talk about it) I actually was sick and didn't notice.

Anyways, I've also been stressing lately over politics. Usually, I just ignore politics in America because I choose not to involve myself in it; I don't vote, because there is really nobody for me to vote for. Everybody, including GLBT lobbyists, has shown that if they're not actively pursuing trans* people, they will gleefully trade in our rights in return for gains for their own causes.

There's also no party that really represents my interests on the political front, either. I am pretty strongly socialist. I have heard there is a small socialist party starting to grow in America, but as one of the tiniest third parties and one that most of America will automatically associate with evil, I don't see the point in doing anything to support them. I also don't trust them not to screw me over, either, because as much as I would like to believe that such a small party would not want to alienate any of its voters, the truth is that politics in America are all about appealing to the majority.

TBH, I don't really mind all of this. So I'm not involved in politics, so people in politics don't care about me. Whatever, really. Generally, I trust politics to sort itself out, and for the atmosphere to remain mild enough for me to weather it out and protect whoever I care about.

But there is one thing about American politics right now that really worries me. And that's anti-intellectualism. It's a remnant of the Cold War, but it hasn't been fading away; instead, it's feeding on itself, permeating our culture. What was essentially a propaganda strategy during the Cold War has raised a generation of politicians who honestly mistrust the idea of genuine education and believe that politics is all about using buzzwords and scripted stock answers to get what your party wants.

I have said before that I honestly wish that more people were aware of how conservative America is compared to most other first-world countries, despite the fact that those conservatives who do understand it think that this means other countries are Marxist/Stalinist hellholes; this is because the fact that most conservatives holding positions today do not know this, and get angry when people try to explain this to them because they do not understand what it means, scares the shit out of me. I am honestly afraid that if we keep going down this road, some day we'll have such idiots in power that when they do realize how far right we are, they will respond by trying to close our borders to the rest of the world.

There's also the fact that we're only holding our head above water as a country because of our huge weapons arsenal. It's like America is a cartoon character. Big, stupid, and easily pissed off by things because we don't understand them.

Basically, as much as I love this country in that weird, proud patriotic way that I'm predisposed to as a Texan, sometimes I feel like a rat on a sinking ship. I have been developing honest plans to bail this country since high school. But I'm so American I don't know how I would fare in the rest of the world. Guys, my ideal life would be living in a rural house in a state with Castle Law with several guns, three hunting dogs and a chicken coop, supported with money I make from either working for a huge corporation or starting my own business. Basically, I am so much a stereotypical American despite my mangina and multiple partners of varying genders that I don't even know what to do with myself.

Basically, America, I love you, stop making it so hard for me and scaring the shit out of me.



Also, I just want to make it clear that I don't categorically hate conservatives or Republicans. I have a lot of trouble understanding conservative ideals (including fiscal conservatism), but I also have a hard time understanding monogamy and strict athiesm. It doesn't reflect on my view of people, and as long as you've put some thought into your opinions, I don't care what conclusions you've come to. I only really judge people for not thinking through their opinions.