potato_head: (kitty lick)
So I spent a lot of time thinking about this lately (and have apparently come to the conclusion that you guys care as much as I do about why I do the things I do). Basically, about why I acted the way I did on Saturday (spending most of my work breaks arguing with assholes on the internet despite the emotional stress it caused).

Are you liking the parentheses? I am thinking of concluding all of my thoughts with parenthetical clauses from now on (jk, jk).

Okay, srsface now:
Warning for brief mention of being suicidal )

So yes. That was a journey into introspection for me, which I thought some of you might find at least tangentially interesting.

In other news, I think I've actually narrowed my choices down to two names: Sydney and Cortland. I'm not going to rush into choosing though, since I learned my lesson last time after investing so much into Christian and then realizing I didn't like it at all. Although I think part of that mistake was my initial euphoria of 'OH MY GOD I CAN FINALLY HAVE A NAME THAT IS ACTUALLY ME'. As opposed to my current name which I just feel is something that people call me. Kind of like they're whistling at me like I'm a dog. Which is terrible, but I realized that's really how I feel about it, and it's why I'm not really participating in the ontdcreepy facebook page even though I want to...because obviously the only thing they have to call me by is my first name. Ugh.

Yes, I did just load this post with tags. Yes, they are all relevant.
potato_head: (cockatrice)
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS

I didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want to jinx it and then I thought that I DIDN'T EVEN GET IN BUT OH MY GOD GUYS HE PICKED ME

I AM

GOING TO CHINA FOR THREE WEEKS THIS SUMMER

TO RESEARCH HIGH-SPEED RAILWAYS

IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE, STUDY ABROAD, IT'S A FOUR-STUDENT ONE-PROFESSOR RESEARCH PROJECT

I THOUGHT HE DIDN'T PICK ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET AN EMAIL AND THEN TODAY HE CALLED ME AND NOW I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK OF JOY

AND MY FRIEND YING IS GOING TOO OH MY GOD SO EXCITED

AJULKSFGDSJFDSLGDSFJGSLDSLF FOREVER

CAPSLOCK FOREVER

GOING TO CHINA


ETA: NOT A PRANK I hate April Fool's Day anyway (also for any of you creepies who are worried, I am 100% certain that the mod post/situation in [livejournal.com profile] ontdcreepy is a prank, after all they let a post through before that lolol)

ETA2: I want to go bake brownies to celebrate but a guy is coming to look at the kitchen :CCCCCC (planned kitchen overhaul because it is oldddddd) I won't be able to bake until like, tonight. MY PLANS, I HAD A SCHEDULE, WHY DOES NOBODY ASK ME ABOUT MY BAKING NEEDS.

Also, some more information about the trip now that I am calmer: It's with the professor that I was just talking about yesterday (lol I know I know, but he's a nice guy for the most part, just...a terrible teacher...). The tentative dates are July 11th-30th (two weeks Beijing, one week Shanghai) and everything's payed for and there's compensation of $400 a week (YEAH FOR REAL that's pretty average for the school's summer research opportunities but WAY more than I make in a week lol). And I will be helping produce an actual finished piece of research that will be SO AWESOME for grad applications.

LMFAO and dad just came in to talk about it with me because he's been to both Beijing and Shanghai so he wanted to impart wisdom about 13-hour flights and food in China. And then he veered off into talking about two articles on trans men he had run across this week, one about Chaz Bono and one about some male model that he was all over because apparently this guy lifts weights like a mofo (dad is a bit of a gym monkey lol).

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